It’s not death , if you accept it and the other side
of eternity nowhere near you expect it to be… right here! Sometimes though, you're not even in your body and time out of mind is only way to describe what happens when FG-5 fever hits.
Everything happens in a crimson blur and razor blade slashes of obsidian. The only thing that matters are the frozen moments in time preventing you from experiencing the here and now.
My name is Milo Denton, I tried to kill myself after being disfigured, only to realize the face in the mirror didn't belong to me and now someone is sent Smiley Face kids to kill me and an FG-5 fever has hit and a landslide of ultra-violence and horrific family movies is going to bombard my pulsating brain.
I have been outside myself realizing, my mind cannot prevent nor momentarily block the withdrawal from FG-5 anymore.
Streak of silver wind across my chest, severed tie, force my knee into something plastic and the gorilla goes down with a slimy piece of meat shoved out of place.
The room goes crooked. Television set on the desk stretches out into an obelisk with the screen sporting the figure with a goblin nose and fangs hanging over the blonde virgin innocence...No. No. Not that movie. Not that image.
Cut to: Movie Theater. There were velvet chocolate chairs. (so I remember). Something hot and wet started happening, as the gaunt ivory hands stroked the neck of damsel in all her purity in deep slumber. I wanted to go to the movies. Mother held my hand, wearing fake pearls. Dad didn't care just did his duty watching but vacant without a soul.
Mother "Really the pearls, Milo? They should be saved for special nights."
Milo (stupid seven year old me) "Couldn't be going to the movies be a special night?"
She kisses me tenderly on the forehead "Alright, for you. Tonight, we'll make it a special night."
The clicking of the projector sets a tense tempo for unknown motive swelling in the loins.
THE MONKEY LAUGHS AND PULLS DOWN THE MAN IN THE BANDAGED FACE.
The little boy's face is flushed. Father is distracted watching the teenage girl, ignore the teenage boy with the pizza face staring for a kiss and Mother's eyes widen at the seductive giant sized horror played about on the screen. The little boy grips harder as the vampire hunches over the girl. He wonders what it's like to be a painted soft-machine being touched by a supernatural being or to be the supernatural being doing the touching of the painted soft-machine.
TWO FISTS SMACK THE MASK OVER AND OVER, UNTIL SOMETHING SLIDES BETWEEN THE RIBS OF THE BANDAGED MAN.
Harder. The wetness is rising. Over and over enter the pocket, pulling down the zipper as fangs drip spittle and begin puncturing the soft-machine's shell of silk. Her eyes flash open! The creatures eyes widen!
SWITCHBLADE EQUALS SLASHING RED RIBBONS ACROSS THE VISION. FISTS FROM ABOVE GENERATE BLACK-HOLES. THE ROOM BECOMES A MELTING REALM OF SWISS CHEESE DRAPED OVER BY A SHARDS BLOODY RIBBON ALL SEEN THROUGH SOMEONE'S BLUE EYE THROWN INTO AN OUT SPACE OF BURNING STARS.
The little boy doesn't care about any of that. He knows that could be his eye but instead watches the movie gripping his mother's firmer, in an effort to feel what is going in front of him with the other hand working something he doesn't quite understand quite yet but something is about to erupt and as the vampire grins miniature red eyes erupts and something unholy ejects from the boy.
Shame. Joy. Lust. Relief.
She looks around straightening her blonde hair. It's not wavy like the girl on the screen. The wetness disgusts her.
Mother "Milo! How dare you?!"
He's torn from his seat and his father barely follows, feeling quite like the shadow of two people he rather not know.
Then the voice of crushed glass set amid sizzling smoke spoke "Nice pearls."
Piano wire wrapped around her neck.
Father hands in pocket, slouching with hands in pocket. "Hey, don't do that." he quietly protested.
Little Milo screaming and jumping. Father slugs him across the face without a sound. Metal clinks. Thunder and lightning father falls giving Milo a final rueful look signifying an ultimate fall from grace.
Boy is cold and wet in a place that doesn't feel right. Mother's leg spread in a van more than one shadow hunched over her. A door slides closed as rubber peels against wet street.
He never saw the man fully nor the face but something wasn't quite right with the jagged grin.
I AM MILO DENTON THE BOY WHO BECAME THE MAN. THE MAN AGAINST TIME WHO BURIED THE BOY SITTING AGAINST THE LAMP POST IN A TIN BOX CHAINED ACROSS THE HEART UNTIL THE POLICE COULD GET THERE AND NOT REALLY LISTEN BUT SHUFFLE HIM ACROSS GUARDIAN TO GUARDIAN UNTIL DEAR BONNIE COULD FINALLY GET CUSTODY, WHORING HERSELF OUT TO GET MONEY TO BRIBE THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
SPREAD THE GORILLA'S ARMS LIKE CHRIST ON CONCRETE. BOTH OF THEM BROKEN.
Her curves were like the grooves of a cabbage. Age sixteen. The taste of peaches in sugar and something sour almost corrupt. Milo exploded inside. She held him and caressed auburn hair as he cried "Momma" over and over.
Bonnie "Shhh, baby, it will be alright." then she hummed a lullaby not just for him but for the dead stillborn son and husband dead of exposure on railroad tracks who first drowned himself in a dead sea of gin and gambling in the sport of black market organ theft.
KNEES INTO THE SPINE. A DEVIL'S TWIST. THE GORILLA GROANS. DON'T CARE WHO SENT WHO. AN OUNCE OR MORE AND HE'S CRIPPLED, ADD ANOTHER TWO AND HE'S DEAD. THE CRYSTAL ANGEL APPEARS, LOWERING HERSELF TO THE GROUND, TRANSPARENT WINGS WRAPPING AROUND WHIRLING RED AND BLACK ROOM. BLUE LIQUID SWISHES INSIDE AND ALL AROUND HER.
BLUE ANGEL "YOU LOOK THIRSTY, MILO. HOW ABOUT A DRINK?"
MILO "THEN MAYBE A VISIT TO THE GYPSY LADY?"
BLUE ANGEL "WHATEVER YOU NEED. JUST FINISH THIS FIRST... THEN PAY ME A VISIT."
IT'S MOURNFUL SMILE AND EVERYTHING REVERTS TO NORMAL EXCEPT THE HAZE...
Grown-up Milo approaches Little Milo. Little Milo looks up.
Grown-up Milo "No one will ever love you." The gun goes off.
Grown-up Milo enters the bedroom with Teenage Milo wiping away something that is cross between joy and shame. A pure dirty feeling. Teenage Milo looks up with a nervous grin in all his moist naked glory.
Grown-up Milo " It's sick what we do for lack of love, isn't it?" The gun goes off.
Grown-up Milo in the land of fog and darkness, a full length mirror in front of him. The reflection isn't quite the reflection he thought it to be... Bandaged Milo reaches out and strangles him.
Bandaged Milo "Here's a glimpse of the future, now the lights going out." Two fingers enter the eye sockets.
THE APE SCREAMS. FALSE PRIMATE FACE THROWN ACROSS THE ROOM.
Images of Milo killing Milo killing Milo fading as everything returns in a technicolor swirl amid white noise.
No one, I recognize. Find my stash of FG-5, take a hit and go down to the Blue Angel Bar and see that gypsy lady.
Maybe find out everything that's happening in the deciphering of a devil's riddle.
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